From the end spring new beginnings.

Wow - I cannot believe it has already come to an 'end', so long, yet so short.

14 children, a ton of days, 2250 minutes driving or 37.5 hours, miscellaneous bars of chocolate, stacks of paper, a river of coffee, a boot full of junk, tanks of petrol, and a lifetime of smiles.

And it's over. Just over. Okaii - well it's not because I am going back :P.

Nevertheless, I am shocked that it is 'over'.

The last 5 weeks have taken me on an incredible journey. A journey that I was so close to not even venturing on, a journey that I nearly did not take.

Teaching has changed my life. Literally.

The lectures I missed, the days I spent in bed - How could I possibly do it?

But..

I did it!!

And I couldn't be more grateful, nor glad. The sheer amount I have gained...

Confidence. Stamina. Good Health. Knowledge. Teaching Strategies. Friends. Emotional strength. Social butterflies. Personal Competance.

Smiles.

An incredible journey, one I will be sad to see come to an end..but as one door closes, another swifty opens.

For from the end - Spring new beginnings!

I'm proud to say, "I am a teacher".

I am a counselor and psychologist to a problem-filled child,
I am a police officer that controls a child gone wild.
I am a travel agent scheduling our trips for the year,
I am a confidante that wipes a crying child's tear.
I am a banker collecting money for a ton of different things,
I am a librarian showing adventures that a storybook brings.
I am a custodian that has to clean certain little messes,
I am a psychic that learns to know all that everybody only guesses.
I am a photographer keeping pictures of a child's yearly growth,
When mother and father are gone for the day, I become both.
I am a doctor that detects when a child is feeling sick,
I am a politician that must know the laws and recognize a trick.
I am a party planner for holidays to celebrate with all,
I am a decorator of a room, filling every wall.
I am a news reporter updating on our nation's current events,
I am a detective solving small mysteries and ending all suspense.
I am a clown and comedian that makes the children laugh,
I am a dietician assuring they have lunch or from mine I give them half.
When we seem to stray from values, I become a preacher,
But I'm proud to have to be these people because ...
I'm proud to say, "I am a teacher."
[Stacy Bonino]

Wowza

Wow - this blog is getting slightly depressing.

I figured, I am so wrapped up trying to follow rules, make a good impression, be a saint - that I have lost me amongst all of it. Therefore, I essentially need to upwrap myself "Ooh Lala ;)" and rediscover!


At the end of the day..If I could turn back time, If I could take away, I'd take back all the things that hurt me - but I can't. So it's time to realise that failure is success turned inside out.

Smile. CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE.

Sometimes I wonder where I've been

Who I am

Do I fit in?

I may not win

but I cant be thrown

Out here,

On my own.

Reflections

'Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? When will my reflections show, who I am inside?'

Once, a bubbly funny person - a person that everyone loved. A person that was so lively, and spontaneous - full of colour, an extrovert.

Now, black and white - straight to the point, an introvert. A person who prefers to be on their own, who hides behind the covers.

I look at the picture of that person once so colourful and strong, now I know that its reflection is so wrong.

Where did you go?

Wow.

Wow - This honestly is like living with a bunch of babies.

• There's some washing up liquid, there's a brush - wash up your plates, that are piled high from weeks a while ago.
• When you go to the toilet, if you can't aim - ask an adult to lift up the seat for you, and then to put it back down again. Rather than wee on the toilet seat, and leave it to conjeal.
• If you use something, put the rubbish in the dustbin - yes that thing with the black bag in.
• We do not have food fights, We do not throw food all over the floor or smear it all over the surface and leave it. However, if you merely drop something - again there's that thing with the black bag in. Bin it.

Okaii - Yes, I may be something like a dog, beginning with the 'b' word - but at the end of the day I am one of the youngest in the flat, I went to university a year early at 17. I am not a neat freak, but I am not unhygienic which is what this is getting to be.

Why should I pay fines for messes I didn't make? Anyone care to explain?

Oh - and if you go for a number two, yes a thing that begins with 'P' and ends in 'oo'. There's a silver handle - flush it away!! I don't want to see it!

Post Three; A World Full of Dilemma.

A world full of dilemma,
it makes us turn,
and tremour,
with the anguish of bearing a chronicle untold.

We’re told to believe,
have faith,
God will retrieve.
Yet his power should have prohibited the chapter commencing.

So endure the contents of my mind.
The book I never read,
the words I couldn’t find,
which lead me to mental suicide.

Stuck between two races,
Trepidation for the future,
whilst regret for the past still traces,
but that insight came a day too late.

Whilst regretting the past,
I sacrifice the future,
It’s fading fast,
with the use of my own noose.

Told that everything happens for a reason,
I missed at protecting myself from being hurt,
so I learn through this season,
to look ahead than to look back and regret.

So this is the path I’ll never tread,
Regret’s come too late,
I’ll grow instead,
rather than dwell on “It might have been”.

Post Two: A Man's yesterday will never be like their tomorrow.

A quaint disposition,

casts over one like a cloud,
no signs of wilting,
- I can no longer stand proud.

Venom of the soul encapsulates now!
Will I locate the lucid light?
Should I be optimistic that the dawn will sever,
through this elongated night?

This menace is perhaps a violent pleasure,
since we are born in others pain & perish in our own.
The journey is exasperating,
ensuring a groan.

Despite wounds oozing with the fear,
We stand strong!
Every man has their secret sorrows,
the silence is immense – forever long.

It seems there’s a reason for everything,
change is inevitable – What can we trust?
Part of us is taken,
with an evil thrust.

What we leave behind us is part of ourselves,
yet our image is retained.
If we cannot change the situation,
our new perception is proclaimed.

For a Man’s yesterday will never be like their tomorrow.

You tie my tummy in a knot.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.
But I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over.

' Why do you taunt me?

Why do you hide,

from the true feelings that you are feeling inside? '

' I guess that you, don't wanna hurt her coo - but you say you love me, through and through. I respect your kindness but you're hurting me too. Don't keep her hanging, Don't just be her boo. You've gotta be honest, honest to you. '

Nevermind I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me I beg
I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead yeah.

'You need to focus, don't go astray. Make your decision, Don't live in dismay.'

Nothing compares
no worries or cares.
Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

 (Adele (2011) Someone like you).

Post One: Time Will Tell.

I sit there for a while,

Watching that sacred dial,
Nothing I can do,
Just wait for my que.

It’s the not knowing,
But the wind – it keeps blowing,
I may be wasting time,
Waiting for that bell to chime,
Yet – I can’t get on,
Not without my head on strong.

I zone in and out,
I guess sometimes like a tout,
It’s so undignifying,
Yet I have to keep on trying.

On the floor,
At the door,
Infront of you,
As you search for a clue.
I suspect you think; What’s next?!
Waiting for another moaning text.

You say you don’t mind,
But I’m like a lemon rind,
Grinding away,
Deteriorating some may say.

It does my head in – it must do yours,
Similar to a set of chores.
I admire you though and thank-you so much,
Grateful for your every touch.
Hopefully the tears will fade,
But we have memories forever made.

I gaze at my picture – so happy and strong,
But in my head know it’s so wrong.
It’s like I look at someone past and gone,
Soon it seems that reality will catch on.

We wait for that letter deciding my fate,
Will it lift a heavy crate?
As time ticks on I’m going downhill,
No longer helped with a pill.
I guess I’m scared what happens then,
Relieving pain with this pen.

I should be grateful of the time I’ve had,
Sharing hugs, memories & pictures of that nerdy lad,
I can never thank-you enough,
Sorry its had to be so tough.

A Series of Posts

A Glimpse at the past...A novel in their own right.

' You are my Sunshine my only Sunshine, You make me happy when skies are grey. And you know dear, how much I love you - Please don't take my Sunshine away. '

A little bit about me..

A primary teaching student, A home-school beauty  freak  - I'm a total geek, but that's the least of my worries.

A smile on my face - working with special children. My Passion. Why? Inspirational. Characters. Teachers in their own right. The sun in the sky.

M.E., a temporarily paralysed leg - I define them, they do not define me. I'm lucky. It could be worse.

BabbleBabbleBabble..I give too much information, and useless shadazzle. Get used to it.

I hope, I practice random acts of kindness, and senseless acts of beauty. Fingerscrossed.

The nephew, the squidworth, the squishy face of glory - My world.

Life Lesson: Smile - It's infectious.